friends by numbers

i was on the phone with a friend, deep in conversation, when he remarked that all of my friends are either jewish or asian. i thought about it some, and i thought he might be right. so i made a list of friends and categorized them. if i forgot to include someone but remembered them later, i didnt care, because if i forgot them in the first place theyre obviously not that important to me.

28.6% of my friends are asian. of these asians, 70% are oriental and 30% are brown. 8.6% of my friends are mexic...er...hispanic. 62.8% are white. 17.1% are jewish, 71.4% some form of christian, and 11.5% other. other includes hindu, muslim, atheist, and agnostic. 71.4% of my friends are female, meaning that 28.6% are male. now heres a fun one. 57.1% of my friends are notorious for indulging in some type of illegal substance. of these, 78.9% of the druggies are white, 0% are brown, 10.5% are hispanic, and 10.5% are oriental. also worth noting is that 36.8% of the drug users are male, 63.2% are female. further, 3% of all asian friends use drugs, 66.7% of all hispanics, and 68.2% of all whites. heres a good one. 28.6% of my friends are considered smart. smart is constituted by multiple honors classes, pretty good grades, etc, of the smart friends, 70% are some form of asian and 30% are white. ALL BROWNS WERE SMART. as far as the not so smart people go, 76% are white, 12% are hispanic, and 12% are oriental. of all the white friends, only 13.6% are smart. asians are 70% smart, and hispanics are 0% smart. no joke. 25.7% of my friends have had sex, that i know of.

here are some numbers to crunch of guys i have liked/dated since ninth grade. again, i though t of one after the list was made, but since i forgot him, i obviously didnt like him that much. 77.8% of the guys i have liked use drugs and/or alcohol on an almost daily basis. 77.8% are considered to be not smart...dumb, basically. 66.7% play a sport. 55.6% are brunette, and 44.4% are blonde, dirty blonde, or strawberry blonde. 55.6% are my age and 44.4% are older. of the older males who have graduated high school, 0% went on to get a quality education, with 50% attending community colleges and the other 50% not going anywhere. and heres the kicker. 66.6% of the guys i have liked over the past two years have had sex.

in conclusion: most of my friends are white and or christian. most of my asian friends are smart. the majority of white friends use drugs. mexicans are dumb and are the most likely to use drugs. brown people are very smart and are clean as can be. i apparently go for men who are dumb druggies who have had sex.

i didnt know any of that...except for the last one. oh, and the mexican thing. i certainly knew that.


Anonymous brina said...

im proud that you can do math :D

[ but i know you used a calculator ]

10:17 AM  
Blogger Vman said...

Well, chicks do dig bad boys, just ask denise richards.

7:21 AM  
Anonymous myhoa said...

im glad that i can be one of your few dumb asian friends!!!

xoxo hoa

11:00 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home